Leaning into Joy
Issue #2 | December 2025
Hey Readers,
Welcome to the second issue of Nicole’s Notes, a newsletter documenting my journey to publication and beyond, as well as occasional thoughts on writing and fighting.
Happy holidays to you and your family! I hope it was what you needed.
First, a quick update for you. Eight of my athletes participated in the Halloween Howl and they did fantastic! One gold, two silver and two bronze, and tons of experience gained.
I also survived my debut in international competition. Being realistic about my experience, I had expected to lose. But it still hurt. I still balled my eyes out in my hotel room at the end of the day once I no longer had to keep it together for the other Canadian athletes competing.
But a loss can be an incredible motivator. I learned so much from my bout, and from watching the other bouts; I received support from the fantastic Team Canada coaches and athletes; I discovered a new appreciation for Point Fighting and Forms; and I made a plan to improve for the next World Senior Championship in Uzbekistan.
Reflection on this year
While I was in Abu Dhabi, a photo memory popped up on my phone. It was me from two years ago to the day, standing in our unfinished commercial space and announcing yet another delay. I was smiling and making light of it in the picture, but on the inside, I was feeling a crushing weight. After nearly ten months of delays, we were not in a great financial position. It felt like the dream was going to die on the vine and potentially take us with it.
Two years later, we have an incredible community of athletes and coaches, have been recognized in top spots in Prince George's CommunityVotes (Gold in 2024 and Platinum in 2025 for Martial Arts!), and have been recognized as a Champion of Inclusion by the Pacific Autism Family Network. Our competition team, while still inexperienced, brought home one gold, two silver, and two bronze medals at their first tournament last month. And I secured a National Title, qualifying for the opportunity to represent Canada on the international stage at the WAKO World Senior Kickboxing Championship. Additionally, I had the honor of being selected as one of three athletes to bear the flag in the opening ceremonies.
Owning and operating a business is challenging, financially and emotionally. This year has been one of the hardest. As a gym owner and a coach, I share and feel the hardship of my athletes; I can't help but be affected by it. And, at the same time, it is an incredible gift to be able to co-create a community that we all want to belong to.
I look back at the past two years (three, if you include the one year we trained in my basement) and I feel nothing but gratitude and wonder at what we've been able to achieve together.
This photo memory also made me reflect on my writing career so far. I have written stories for as long as I can remember. We got our first computer when I was around 8-years-old and I remember writing a story called, “The Blind Colt.” When I was in Grade 5, I wrote a novel called “The Descendent of Rin” in a notebook I brought with me on a trip to Peru with my dad. My Grade 6 and 7 teachers both encouraged my writing, one of them giving me a notebook with words of encouragement in the front at the end of the year.
But what happened after that? When I got into high school, I became obsessed with academic and athletic performance and with what I thought other people wanted to see. This led to me being hospitalized several times. But even then, I never stopped writing. I remember fighting with the nurses for access to my laptop so I could write - I didn’t win that fight.
During my undergraduate and graduate degrees, I also never stopped writing, but it was never a focus. I had it in my mind that I was only worthy of life if I could prove my worth through service to others (intense, I know. Probably why I was hospitalized lol).
What eventually broke me out of that mindset was intense and utter burnout. When I finally decided that I needed to shift my life drastically, I decided to “lean into joy.” This led to me opening Connection Martial Arts, with the hope that I could one day grow it to be financially stable enough so I could write during the day and train and coach in the evenings.
I wouldn’t say we are quite stable yet. But the dream is getting closer and closer.
Just for fun, here are some stats for this year:
Completed the first draft for 3 new books
Edited and revised 2 books to send to literary agents
Sent RED CRANES to 6 agents and got 6 rejections - decided that this one needs more revision after feedback from writing group
Sent THE NIGHT OF THE REVENANT’S TEARS to 25 agents. So far, I have 7 form rejections, 1 personalized rejection, and 1 manuscript request.
Resources for Writers
I figured I would add a writing craft section to this for those of you who are interested. Here are some of my favorite podcasts about the craft and business of writing:
Writing Excuses
The Shit No One Tells You About Writing
On Writing With Brandon Sanderson | Full Writing Lectures (2025)
Writing Excuses does a retreat every year and it sounds like their 2026 Alaska Cruise is going to be their last. There are scholarships available here for writers of color and writers in financial need. The deadline to apply is Dec 31st.
Currently Reading
I am going to list a couple books and webcomics this time:
Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao (Pacific Rim meets The Handmaid's Tale, a feminist retelling of the rise of Chinese Empress Wu Zetian)
Jade War by Fonda Lee (think Godfather with magic and martial arts. This is book 2 in the series.)
Trapped by Haemuri (a vampire blackmails a human and they enter a toxic cat-and-mouse game)
Cranksrats by Katherine Ellis (a long running steampunk fantasy webcomic)
I’m always on the hunt for books to be added to by TBR pile. Send me your recommendations!
Warmly,
Nicole